Well, we three CountryWives aren’t holding our breath for Valentine’s Day. It just makes Ellie sad, Annabel sceptical and me? My husband will be 1559 miles away. I’m not saying he organised this business trip just to be absent on the ‘big day’ but he’s quite probably breathing a sigh of relief, safe in the knowledge that I couldn’t possibly be expecting hearts, flowers, wining and dining from him. Actually, what am I saying? He probably doesn’t even know it is Valentine’s this week (much less care).

Trouble is, this annual day of romance and general sloshiness is hard to ignore. Everywhere we look there are pink and red hearts, cute cuddly toys and overpriced roses. Suddenly, we are the only solo ones – absolutely everyone else is part of a canoodling, perfectly loved up duo with their endorphins raging. If like me, you will be single on Valentine’s Day, I’d recommend you crack open a bottle, raid the fridge for chocolate, and be glad you’ve got your health (and that there’s no-one snoring, farting or insisting on watching Top Gear when you’ve Sky+d the final thrilling episode of Borgen).

Now singletons,  if you still need cheering up, here are a few things you might like to remember:

Courier delivers huge beautifully wrapped bouquet of deep velvety red roses to your office in front of all your (intensely jealous) colleagues.

Reality: with a weak smile, your man proffers a slimline bunch of limp yellow carnations he bought at the petrol station on the way home

Enormous heart shaped box of heart shaped Belgian chocolates waiting on your doorstep when you get home.

Reality: Two boxes of Maltesers (BOGOF offer at Co-Op) left on the hall table.

There’s an exciting clatter of Valentine’s cards as they drop through your letterbox. Ah, he remembered!

Reality: He forgot.

Everyone is happily married apart from you.

Reality: In the UK, 1.27m women and 1.65m men are single. That’s 380,000 spare men out there.

Valentine’s Day is important. It defines me as a woman who is wanted, needed and loved.

Reality: true love isn’t about one particular day and certainly not this commercially-oriented one.

15% of American women send themselves flowers on Valentine’s Day

In Russia, on 8 March, all women are given flowers, chocolates and A DAY OFF WORK, just for being female!

53% of women will dump their boyfriends if they don’t give them anything on Valentine’s Day