Well, we have arrived in Turkey girls and yes, true to form it is peeing down with rain.

Our bad luck and holidays go back a long way. Two years ago we did the Cornwall thing in a monsoon. Last year we got the 52 degree treatment in Turkey which was quite unbearable. This year? It’s pouring, pouring, pouring having made a last-minute reservation to get away to the sunshine for the first time this year.

For a start, I am not a great fan of flying to say the very least. Throwing myself off Everest comes a very close second to getting on a plane for me. I am one of those ladies who takes Valium before a long flight, except now that we have children, Valium is obviously NOT an option. Instead I pray a lot, do much hand holding and play games all the way to make up for being a rubbish mum at home until I feel that if we do happen to crash we will pass away in a ‘good space’ and on ‘excellent terms’.

After a two and a half hour flight delay (30 mins short of a complimentary drink) we boarded the airbus and from ‘Cafe Cloud’ (can you believe it!) got the usual revolting, smelly food dumped on the flappy grey plastic tables – in this case scrambled eggs and a dog’s willy sausage. Yes, even though we were now flying at 12 instead of 9am, the breakfast was already on board and so we had to eat it…. disgusting!!!! After two hours of inflight boredom I decided it was time to pep things up a little. So I requested that if the pilot had any free time and, while keeping his hands on the steering wheel, he might be able to wish my son an early Happy Birthday and ask him nicely to give up biting his nails. The captain agreed to the birthday wishes, but it was a no to asking him to stop the nail biting – he explained that he felt it might traumatise the child to be asked to give up such a pleasurable pastime in front of 180 other people…I couldn’t really disagree and felt rather ashamed at having asked in the first place!

Because of this disgusting weather we have told ourselves that even though ours is an all-inclusive holiday, invented for the sole purpose of saving money, it is perfectly ok to spend a whole load more on extras; in two days we have splurged on pedicures, facials, hair cuts, tennis lessons and fake watches. My old watch (22 years old) has given up the proverbial ghost so I have bought a rather gorgeous Cartier to replace it……. for £30. Every single shop in the vicinity sells fakes and I must say that I do find this quite baffling; one hears stories of prison sentences and deportation for those who deal in counterfeit goods back home but here in Turkey it seems quite the norm; nobody makes the slightest effort to hide the fact so I can only suppose it must be completely legal here, how extraordinary!

My time on the Internet has run out for now. I almost have to put coins in here to keep it going. But I will be back next week to report on the wettest holiday in Europe although word has reached the camp that the sun might be out tomorrow so we are all smiles this evening….