If I’m completely honest I have always thought John Major rather attractive, don’t ask me why, I mean ME!!! who has dated more down and outs than had hot dinners; I just never saw him as the grey, dull man we were lead to believe he was at his peak. There is something so utterly genuine and gentle about him that he sort of makes me melt, if he were a pudding he would be a warm chocolate souffle, he is tall, which helps, and sorry to be really sordid, but he did have an affair (allegedly) which must mean that he is not completely averse to being a naughty boy, definitely a plus. The poor man would have to lower his intellectual standards somewhat if we were to have dinner together, I could tell him what has happened in Eastenders and on the X-Factor last week, I could show him my billions of flea bites, I could tell him a few stories about the trip to Centre Parcs, name most of the European capital cities, discuss an article or two from the Saturday Telegraph Magazine (but not the paper itself), then I could ask how his kids are……..hmmmmmmm, not so sure he’d fall for me straight away so perhaps dinner is not such a good plan, instead perhaps we could take in the new Bond movie Skyfall, followed by a late night cocktail at Trader Vic’s (best Mai Tai in the universe!) and then………… no, I am not going ANY further on this hypothetical date, one is far too vacuous for an ex Prime Minister so let’s move on!

Yes A, I am also worrying about tomorrow night’s little affair a la Quince Tree, luckily for me I have a wonderful ex mother-in-law who is also a cognitive behavioural therapist; when I explained how I felt about the upcoming event on the phone she suggested a little CBT via Skype! I’m afraid I didn’t hold out much hope as I am rather too cynical about these things but was so keen for change that I agreed and blow me down if I don’t feel half as petrified as I did yesterday so thank you Jenny, thank you very much. One of my main concerns is getting a hot flush right in the  middle of the interview, OH please God don’t let that happen to me, I know I deserve a bit of a ticking off for not going to church regularly enough, but I do help out at the school A LOT and I spend much “quality time” chatting to the old dear over the road while her husband is unwell. Pleeeeeease don’t let it happen, pleeeease, not today. I have done all the things as listed in the “hot flush” link above to prevent an attack but I did have sneaky cigarette this afternoon and according to the “don’t do” list that won’t help one little bit! I have no intention of drinking tomorrow not even a whiff but watch me go the day after!!!!!

Love, love, love and see you tonight girls,