Well that was a complete wash out of a bank holiday weekend though husband happily stared at the television and groups of men chasing a spherical object around a green patch of grass in the rain (soon to be a patch of mud) whilst I stared out the window and longed for long walks and sunny days to work in the garden but as it turned out I just baked and ate. So now I have despatched Husband to work, last of the children has left, I have thrown all carbs in the bin or fed them to nesting swans and I am praying to the Sun God with increasing fervour. I had a bit of moment on Friday when the river was rising and I saw that the petrol cans for the boat were about to float down the river. With petrol prices at an all time high I realised this needed drastic and quick action i.e. no time to call for help. Off to the shed to don my designer waders in delicious sludgy green. This item of clothing tends to make me look like a giant green condom and is a look that is best kept to the privacy of our boat shed. However on donning the said item I noticed that a little rodent had clearly got hungry this winter and nibbled a hole in the toe area. This is the point when I should have thought the plan through but I didn’t and so waded off to the boathouse and into the water which was now up to my waist and rising and this is where it went very wrong as that tiny hole worked like a hoover and the cold, muddy river water was being sucked in quicker than a Dyson in a dust pile. As one leg swelled up it became hard to move or control and the cans of petrol were about to drift past so desperate measures were required and I launched myself, grabbing the can with one hand and the side of the boat with the other and it worked well except that on recovering myself onto dry land I found removing the ‘condom’ was a touch tricky as a vacuum seemed to have occurred and my big toe was blocking the hole so the water was not going anywhere. After a lot of wriggling the water was released and it was expelled like a pressure hose. My next door neighbour who is of the nosey, interfering kind probably reported me for using a banned hosepipe so pictorial evidence is needed as this is not something I want to try and convince the local authorities about.
The good news is that I have now worked out that if we ever experience a drought again and my garden needs watering I can clamber into my waders, wade into the river, let them fill with water and then walk around the flower beds sprinkling as I go!!
Love Annabel xx
P.S. Just discovered that there is a Women in Waders calendar though I don’t think I am about to be invited to be the May pin-up girl!