Husband and I are off to Austria for a strict detox. This will be the second time we’ve done this together, although the first time we wisely had separate hotel rooms. There was only one room left when we booked this time, so God help us. Don’t want to be indelicate, but one of the founding principles of this renowned medical ‘spa’ is that everyone swallows a stoically Germanic helping of Epsom salts (or bittersalz) on waking each morning. Suffice it to say there are a lot of rumbling, gurgling stomachs in the restaurant at breakfast – not least because we are all surviving on 350 calories or less per day. Then a lot of hurried departures to the nearest loo. Surprisingly, we are not so deprived of energy that we lay stricken on our beds all day – most people are full of energy despite the enforced lack of sustenance and are out on the golf course, Nordic walking, swimming in the lake, or doing ‘gymnastiks’. True, I take industrial quantities of Nurofen on Day 2, but the excrutiating headache usually subsides by Day 4. Anyhow, not everyone’s idea of the perfect break, but we should come back home slightly less porky than we left!