The whole role of ‘mother of an exam candidate’ is quite a learning curve in this ‘mothering life’ but in my opinion mothers seem to fall into one of four categories.
a. The pushy Mums who hover and nag, book tutors, email the teachers for extra practice papers and are to be avoided at all times as they tend to always ask you how many hours a day your child is studying which means you return home feeling despondent.
b. The Oblivious Mums who go on holiday before, during, after the exams, or all three.
c. The Know-it-All Mums who have been, seen, experienced all types of child students and got the tee-shirt. (These are the ones who are most sympathetic to helping you deal with your little monster).
d. Finally the Mums who pretend to be totally laid-back and tell one that their child is doing no work and then come results day, their child mysteriously gets straight A*’s.
What I do know is that all types are embarrassing to their children and so it is best to try and be a bit of them all i.e.
Hover a little, nag very rarely (particularly with boys as it is a waste of time since they never listen), go on holiday whenever you want because it will not affect the results, pretend to know it all even if you don’t and finally be laid back because it is less stressful and anyway all results are a mystery as even with great ones it doesn’t guarantee your child anything.
I love revision time as I get to stay at home and mother them, and whilst they revise I can spend lots of time doing all those boring jobs in the garden or tidying those cupboards you last did just before they were born and have been stuffing things in ever since. Finally on their breaks I sit down with them and watch pre-recorded episodes of Graham Norton, the French Open or a movie (of their choice which is the only downside!) and this is a real indulgence as I have no guilt that I should be doing something more worthwhile.
Then the exam day dawns and if you have a boy you might get a text afterwards, if you are lucky, saying “went well”, “was fine” or if it went badly “I’m so f***ed”. From my girls I get a phone call with all the details of their exam, not that I understand either of their subjects, but at least I feel more included though it does give me more to worry about.
All I do know is whatever Mum you are it is a very trying time as all you want is the best for your child…..